Gimps Archives - 14erskiers.com Backcountry skiing, biking, hiking in Crested Butte, Colorado & beyond - Created by Brittany Konsella & Frank Konsella Mon, 10 Feb 2020 05:35:08 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://dev.14erskiers.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/14erskiers_logo__favicon.jpg Gimps Archives - 14erskiers.com 32 32 Unlucky Lucky: Skiing Again! https://dev.14erskiers.com/2020/02/unlucky-lucky-skiing-again/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2020/02/unlucky-lucky-skiing-again/#comments Wed, 05 Feb 2020 06:14:37 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=444716 At the end of the appointment, the doctor sat me down and said, "Let's talk about skiing." In my head I said, "I thought you'd never ask!" But, I refrained. He asked, "Do you even want to ski this year?" I nodded my head in silent response, but inside I was screaming, "Oh hell yeah!" Then he asked, "Do you have a seasons pass?" I nodded my head again and mumbled something about buying it before the accident and just keeping it because I thought I'd be skiing in spring for sure. Then he said, "I think you should get out and ski. I think it will help you mentally." Yep, this doc knows me, or at least knows my type. Of course, there was the whole spiel about starting out slow, on groomers only, etc. But, I already knew this. It's not like I haven't been through 3 ACL surgeries before.

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On January 21st, I had an appointment with Dr. Elfenbein, an orthopedic surgeon in Crested Butte who has graciously allowed me to do my follow up post-trauma care with since my the surgeons who worked on my femur and my spine were both out of network for my insurance. All has been well with the femur for quite some time. But the neck is the crux, and the x-rays showed that it was fusing well.

Heading up the chairlift for my first turns of the season!

At the end of the appointment, the doctor sat me down and said, “Let’s talk about skiing.” In my head I said, “I thought you’d never ask!” But, I refrained.

He asked, “Do you even want to ski this year?” I nodded my head in silent response, but inside I was screaming, “Oh hell yeah!” Then he asked, “Do you have a seasons pass?” I nodded my head again and mumbled something about buying it before the accident and just keeping it because I thought I’d be skiing in spring for sure, and could go to Breckenridge at the end of the season at the very least. Then he said, “I think you should get out and ski. I think it will help you mentally.” Yep, this doc knows me, or at least knows my type. Of course, there was the whole spiel about starting out slow, on groomers only, etc. But, I already knew this. It’s not like I haven’t been through 3 ACL surgeries before.

So, what did I do? Well, the next day I went skiing.

To be honest, I was sick. I had a cold that knocked me out that week. I wanted to curl up in bed for days, but I had to work, I had to keep going on my physical therapy, I had my appointment with Dr. Elfenbien, and I definitely had to ski. I wasn’t going to let this cold rob me of my first day back on skis, despite the fact that when the alarm when off early in the morning, I wanted to throw it out the window.

The day couldn’t have been more beautiful. Clouds that had left a couple of inches of fresh snow overnight still lingered low in the sky, yet the sun shone through them, creating a magical scene. The morning was crisp. I headed out my door with Frank and skied over to the West Wall chair. I only had an hour to ski, and I didn’t want to go far in case things went awry. So, I would lap the West Wall chair for as many times as an hour would allow.

And the first turns were certainly momentous. The “Texas Pow” (a couple of inches on top of freshly groomed) was inspiring. And I gained confidence with every turn.

The leg – well I thought I would feel that rod in my femur while skiing, but I didn’t feel it much. Not anymore than I feel it while hiking or cross-country skiing. The neck was a different story. Skiing didn’t hurt it. But my neck felt…. unstable. Throughout my recovery, I have basically experienced various stages of what I call “Bobblehead Syndrome”. In other words, I’m like a baby whose learning to hold her head up. First it was hard to hold it up in the brace. When the brace was removed, it was hard to hold it up while walking. Then, it was hard to hold it up while walking when I was tired, which I experienced during the first couple of months that I started hiking again. And now, I realized that it was hard to hold my head up while skiing. The extra g-forces and helmet were putting more strain on those stabilizing muscles, which are still weaker than normal.

I mean, it’s not like my head just falls down or something. But, when I go over a bump, it sort of… bobbles. I don’t have full control over it. It ‘s just a little unstable. I am doing all kinds of jumps and plyometrics in the gym and my head does not bobble. So, really, the only way to get it stronger for skiing is to just keep skiing. But, until I overcome “Bobblehead Syndrome”, I’ll be sticking to the groomers.

But, I’m quick to admit – I don’t think groomers ever felt so good. With every turn I make and every day I ski, I realize how lucky I am. I am lucky to be able to talk, to walk, and especially to ski. And skiing just over 6 months after such a major life-changing accident is more than anyone could ask for. It is the definition of Unlucky Lucky. But, I worked for it. I earned it. I remained dedicated to my recovery for 6+ months, and now I can reap the rewards.

And my recovery is far from over. I still go to physical therapy, occupational therapy, and massage therapy. I still spend hours doing physical therapy exercises at home and at the gym. Before I go to bed, I have a stretching & mobility routine for my neck/back and whole body, which also involves some meditation. This routine lasts 45 minutes to an hour every night. You’d think that, after six months, the time I dedicate to healing should have waned. But, I have found it quite the opposite. I spend 5 hours on average per day dedicated to my healing. Healing is my job.

After a handful of days building my confidence on groomers, I finally felt assured that skinning would be fine. So, I woke up early and headed out to the resort long before the lifts began spinning with skins on the bottom of my skis. The crisp morning air, the crunch of the corduroy, the flip of the touring binding… It all felt good. Life is starting to be normal again. And I can’t wait until I finally feel confident enough to venture into the steeps and the backcountry. But, I also know I need to not rush those things before I am ready. So, I remain focused on getting stronger and better, and ready for more challenges. Because, apparently, I need more challenges in my life 🙂

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Where I Am Now…. https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/12/where-i-am-now/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/12/where-i-am-now/#comments Mon, 02 Dec 2019 16:01:21 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=443906 To most people, I appear healed. It would take the average person to notice the subtle things, like how I can't turn my head all the way, and how much I have trouble with using my arms above my head to get things off a top rack or shelf. To most, I walk fine, I talk fine, I smile fine, I have a few extra scars but so what.... I am healed but not healed.

Today, it has been 3.5 months since I nearly died under the wheels of my car - now named Voldemort after giving me a large "Harry Potter" scar, among dozens of other injuries....

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To most people, I appear healed. It would take the average person to notice the subtle things, like how I can’t turn my head all the way, and how much I have trouble with using my arms above my head to get things off a top rack or shelf. To most, I walk fine, I talk fine, I smile fine, I have a few extra scars but so what…. I am healed but not healed.

Today, it has been 3.5 months since I nearly died under the wheels of my car – now named Voldemort after giving me a large “Harry Potter” scar, among dozens of other injuries.

I am sure I am farther along in the healing process than most doctors could have imagined. But, then, they don’t know me. They don’t know that, when faced with challenges, I rise to defeat all odds. It’s who I am. That’s what I was born to do. And this was the biggest challenge I have ever faced. So, I rose even harder.

So, let’s do a recap on what it’s been like since I last posted this summer….

Arteries are kinda important
After a couple of weeks at home, I visited the neurologist who is responsible for overseeing my vertebral artery occlusion and he gave me clearance to start maintaining a normal life – meaning, I could start riding the exercise bike and doing things to increase my circulation. As a recap, I have a vertebral artery that’s more or less squished like a straw. Even worse, it has a blood clot hanging out in it, which, if a piece breaks loose, could give me a stroke. I have been on a double dose of blood thinners – daily doses of Xeralto and low-dose Asprin, to help prevent my brain from getting clogged. The scan I had back in August more or less showed that there wasn’t much change in the damaged vertebral artery, which feeds my cerebellum, the part of the brain that is the hub of one’s balance and movement. Earlier scans taken in the hospital show signs that I suffered a small stroke in this part of the brain, likely during the trauma. But physical therapy has shown that I have basically no symptoms of said stroke…. thankfully. The plan is for me to remain on blood thinners until at least January, when more scans will evaluate the status of the occlusion/clot.

You may ask… “Wait, so if your artery is blocked, how is your cerebellum getting blood supply?” That’s one of the cool things about the body. The vertebral artery is separated into a right side and a left side that merge together before they enter the base of the brain. While my right side is blocked, the left side has gone into overdrive, pumping extra blood that is needed into that part of the brain. In fact, hospital scans seemed to indicate that blood was actually backflowing into the right artery, essentially pushing backwards on the clot, helping to prevent it from breaking free. Just the first example of how amazing the body can be.

The femur
The femur fracture in my left leg was the quickest injury to heal. I was astonished at how quick it was. If you read previous posts, I was allowed to bear weight on that leg as soon as the rod was put in, as long as the pain was tolerable. Well, here’s the thing. If you know me, you know my high tolerance for pain… So, the femur fracture didn’t stop me much.

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Update 7/24 – Had a visit with the doc that put the rod in my femur yesterday. As I walked into the room and put my crutches aside and stood in front of him, he exclaimed, "You are already weeks ahead of where most people would be wit this injury!" I replied, "Well, I've had a lot of knee surgeries for practice!" – Many people have asked or commented about my broken femur and why I was allowed to walk on it as soon as the rod was put in. I found it strange myself as I know over a dozen people to have also broken their femurs, but none of whom where allowed to put much weight on their broken bone, if any, for about 6 weeks post-op. The doc explained yesterday that because my fracture was so close to the hip, they had to use a longer rod that basically went close to my femoral head. Because of this, he used two screws to secure the top of the rod, instead of one. It is something to do with the placement of these two screws that allows me to put weight on my femur as the fracture heals (the bottom is secured with only one screw, scroll through the photos). – Admittedly, I would feel the bone shift a tiny bit sometimes when I moved for the first week. But after a week, it began to calcify enough that I no longer felt it. I sometimes get aches in the hip when I walk, likely due to the large incision there.. But I don't feel much on the fracture itself. – I am very to thankful that I can walk on my femur as it makes my recovery a little easier. Trying to manage a broken neck with a non-weight bearing leg would be extremely difficult! I have said times over that this incident has been unlucky lucky. Breaking my femur was unlucky, but I am lucky that the healing of it is relatively easy😃

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After the neurologist cleared me to start exercising vigorously, I did. Having anticipated this, I purchased a recumbant stationary bike, as my neck could not handle an upright bike yet. Biking for long periods of time allowed me to gain valuable strength in my legs. It also allowed me to start feeling human again. Exercise does so much for the mind and body alike.

As the end of August neared, I could feel changes in my femur. About 6 weeks after the surgery, it started to not have any pain while standing on the hurt leg. This signified that the calcification was getting to be solid enough to do more – like walk longer distances. My hip, however, sometimes hurt after walking or standing for longer periods, so I was a little leary. Thankfully, I was able to persuade my visiting friend, Natalie, to “take me for a walk” – kinda like I was a dog or something 😉

I had her take me on Peanut Lake Road, a mostly quiet dirt road, largely flat, and definitely beautiful. That way, if I started hurting, she could always walk back and get the car. But, it didn’t hurt – well, not much anyway. And I found that my hip actually felt better the more that I walked. We walked over 2.5 miles on Peanut Lake Road and the Lower Loop Trail, just 2 weeks after I was cleared for vigorous exercise. A couple of days later, I walked with my visiting parents 3.5 miles from the town of Crested Butte to my home at the base of the ski area. It was all uphill from there ;)\

A neck like the “Tin Man”
The worst injury I incurred was the broken neck. Obviously, the fracture of it is closely related to the aforementioned problems with the vertebral artery. While in the hospital, I had two surgeries to fuse the C5 to T1 vertebrae and wore a cervical neck brace for over 7 weeks, 6 weeks after both surgeries were complete. But by the end of August it was time to start weening off the neck brace… the same time that I was starting to walk/hike.

I was ready to get rid of the neck brace. Things like washing my face, brushing my teeth, eating, and drinking were a lot more difficult with it on. Every time I ate, I felt like a 2 year old, because so much food ended up all over both me and the floor. So, ditching that thing was certainly a blessing. However, I was still not allowed to turn my neck a whole lot. Subtle movements were allowed, but I a was not permitted to work on increasing my range of motion. My neck was so weak, and my head continued to move with my torso instead of independent of it, so I felt like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. Sometimes it creaked just like the Tin Man too. For real.

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Yesterday, we celebrated my 2 month anniversary of a second chance at life. I can't believe it's been only two months since I was flown to the ER with a broken femur, neck and sternum, and blood pouring down my face. I can't believe that I am no longer visibly injured to the untrained eye and that I can already hike miles. It has been quite a journey, one that is far from over. And I am thankful to have had @crested_butte_is_home by my side the whole way. He has been a champion through this challenge! 💋 And thankful to have had so many friends and family cheering me from the sidelines. It was also great to see so many of our community out and about at @donitascantina, supporting a long time restaurant that is about to close its doors! #trauma #traumasurvivor #traumawarrior #traumarecovery #crestedbutte #feelingloved

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However, I didn’t ditch the neck brace entirely right away. My femur had healed far faster than my neck, and I was hiking longer and longer distances, over more and more difficult terrain. But, because I was still physically weaker than I wanted to be, I would tire easier, which made me prone to tripping. And tripping hurt my neck. Plus, as I tired, I actually found it hard to hold my head up. It’s weird to say that. But, it was actually hard to hold it up. I guess that’s what babies struggle with too. So, I kept wearing the neck brace to protect my sping while hiking into mid-October.

Arms like a puppet
My upper body took a much harder hit from the trauma and surgeries than my lower body. A broken sternum caused me pain in the hospital, and maybe a week after discharge, but it healed relatively quickly. But, the soft tissue damage from both the trauma and surgeries took much longer to heal. I had, and continue to have, pain in my pectoral muscles – likely due to muscle tears. And my upper chest, shoulders and back were so tight that I had trouble putting my arms above my head.

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Believe it or not, this is a stretch for me! My range of motion in my shoulders has been really limited since my accident – not from my shoulders themselves but because of soft tissue damaged from a broken neck, broken sternum, two neck surgeries. I finally got approval to start working on improving this range of motion and built a pulley system on my deck to help with this. It's strange to think that such a simple exercise could provide so much relief. But, it feels good to finally be addressing this subset of injuries that has had to go by the wayside for 7 weeks! My body just heals better through movement.🤣 #traumasurvivor #trauma #traumawarrior #traumarecovery #warrior #imgonnabestrong #healingthroughmovement

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Then, there was the weakness. When I was discharged from the hospital, my left arm was so weak that I could not press down on a soap dispenser hard enough to get the soap out. As my femur’s healing accelerated, I focused on gaining strength and mobility in my upper body. By the end of September, my arms were going easier above my head, although still with some pain.

A Stuffy Head
When I was in the hospital, I wanted to prove to myself that nothing was wrong with my brain. I made a concerted effort to remember every nurse’s and doctor’s and PA’s name. And I did a pretty good job. But, I still had trouble with high level thinking – any time I’d have to think critically or do problem-solving – it was like my brain could not work. This lasted for a few weeks after being discharged from the hospital too.

Cap that off with some obvious PTSD that I was going through for awhile…. I never had panic attacks or anxiety. And for that, I am thankful. My brain didn’t choose to forget much about my experience, but rather it decided to play it over and over and over in my head, like a video where there was no pause or stop. And it would do it spontaneously too. Sometimes something would trigger it – like an episode of Friends where a random guy was hit by a car. Or Frank and I decided to watch a Will Ferrel movie, Stranger than Fiction, expecting a comedy. Instead it was another somber story where a guy eventually gets run over by a bus. Do you know how much this is shown on shows and movies? It turns out, a whole heck of a lot – even the comedies!

But other times they would just come without warning, for no apparent reason at all. With so many appointments that I could not drive myself to yet, I sought the aid of online counseling. I guess my brain is incredibly resilient, because this was all it really needed. I think having been completely open and honest about my experience the whole time has helped. But, I can honestly say that I don’t have PTSD symptoms anymore.

Driving
I was scared to start driving again… for a few reasons. One, I was allowed to start driving as soon as I ditched the neck brace. But, I wasn’t allowed to turn my head a whole lot. So, my driving would be compromised. And, I really didn’t want to get into even a fender bender, as that too would hurt my neck. But, driving is important. I needed to do it for my jobs. I needed to do it to hike more things. I needed to do it for my independence. So, sometime in early September I had Frank take me for a drive, except I was the driver. A few trips between the town of Crested Butte and the mountain, and I had gained enough confidence to drive on my own. It’s a blessing we live in a rural town without much traffic, no stop lights, and not a single two lane road. Driving was easy in Crested Butte.

People have asked me if I had PTSD flashbacks while starting to drive. The answer is no. The accident didn’t happen with me in the car, I was outside the car. Sure, I pause when I put the car into park. and I pause every time I open the trunk. I think these responses are perfectly normal. Shortly after the accident, we talked about selling my car and me getting a new one. But, it turns out I kinda like Voldemort – especially the backup camera which I never used until he decided to break my neck. Besides, every time you buy/sell something, loss is incurred. I’d rather that money go to paying my plethora of medical bills right now.

The Camino
It’s literally translated as “The Way”. We had the trip planned to Spain to hike the Camino back in January but after the accident, Frank and I decided not to go. But, when my parents visited during the second half of August, and I started to actually be able to walk long distances, we changed our minds.

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Madrid. What brings me here? An unplanned pilgrimage of sorts. You see, last winter, my family and I planned this trip to hike the Camino de Santiago – a route that crosses northern Spain passing over majestic mountains, scenic countryside, and through many villages. The pilgrimage is rooted in religious significance, with people walking hundreds of miles to visit the supposed tomb of St. James, in Santiago de Compostelo. When we planned this trip, I thought of it as a worthy hike, with the goal being to hike 62+ miles over 5 days from point A to point B, enjoying some scenery, culture, and time with family along the way. But as events had it this summer, this journey has become so much more. While I am not a religious person in the Christian sense, I'd be lying if I said that this journey was not spiritual in a sense to me. The Camino is not just a hike for me anymore, it's about being here, being alive, being ABLE to walk, let alone hike… And just 3 months after my accident. It's about things that I can't even put into words. They say no one hikes the Camino without a reason. My reason is clear now. At the same time, I'll admit, I almost feel guilty about being on this trip. Why? Because when I sat in the hospital in July, so many of you came to my aid on GoFundMe. Would it seem like we were paying for this trip through that ernest cause? (The money has been used to pay medical expenses, which need a good deal of sorting as my insurance is denying hundreds of thousands of dollars nof claims – a whole story in itself). The truth is that Frank and I thought we should cancel the trip, partially because of the reasons mentioned above and also because of the extent of my injuries. But we realized much of it was already booked and paid for, and much of it was nonrefundable. As we waivered, a little voice in my head was whispering, "You need this." And then miracles happened – I walked those first few miles back in August and September, and I started to feel like a normal person again. With the encouragement of my parents, we decided to stay the course and to hike the Camino. And suddenly the hike was not just about the hike. Tomorrow, we start the Camino!

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Originally, when we planned on doing the Camino, I thought it would be fun opportunity to do something cool. It didn’t have a whole lot of meaning, other than to just check off that specific experience from the list. But, it turns out the Camino was the perfect healing adventure. First, it was non-threatening – the trails were wide, not too loose most of the time, and usually not very steep. So, it was not technical. But, also, the trails weren’t exactly remote either. Every few miles we would pass through a village where you could easily call a taxi to take you to your finishing point if you could not go on that day. So, I always had options if I felt like it would not be good for me to go farther. Third, the Camino is more than just a hike. It’s a mindful journey as well. The origin of the Camino is religious in roots as pilgrims journeyed to Santiago de Compostelo to visit the tomb of St. James. While modern-day pilgrims aren’t always on the Camino for truly religious purposes, most people do some soul searching along the way. It’s a good time for people like me to reflect on the meaning of life – kinda like the Monty Python movie.

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Today we marched 16 miles through forests and fields, passing through roughly a dozen villages along the way. Here in Galacia, time seems to stand still. We don't know the day, and our surroundings seem ignorant of the decade. As we tiptoe through the silent forest, I keep thinking that surely fairy or an elf or even a leprechaun will jump out to greet us. But we have had no such encounters, or luck, but I can't help but keep hoping. – Admittedly as I wandered along the Camino in a somewhat surreal state, I was also struggling. Although the terrain is not particularly difficult for hiking, the back to back long days (15 miles yesterday) were havoc on my recovering body. I lost over 10 lbs as a result of my accident, and I am slowly rebuilding the muscles that power me. But that takes time, and for now, I remain weaker than I can remember ever being. Can I finish all the 62+ miles from Sarria to Santiago de Compostelo in just 5 days? I am honestly not sure. But I am sure going to try. However, if needed, I can always call a taxi from a village we pass through help me get to my desired destination for the evening. Tomorrow is over 18 miles long with a forecast of rain, rain, and more rain. It will be the crux of the Camino for me, and has been the day I have been most worried about for this journey. I am up for the challenge, but I also need to listen to my body and let it make decisions for me. But either way, I am happy to be here, experiencing this wonderful place with friends and family, and pushing my body to do what most people thought I could not do just 3 months after this accident! @lekiusa @lasportivana #camino # caminodesantiago #palasderei #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #PostCervicalSpinalFusion #PostFemurFracture

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It turns out, I was able to walk the Camino in its entirety (and then some) from Sarria to Santiago de Compostelo, over 115 km over 5 days, just 3 months after my horrible accident.

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Accomplishing big life goals often comes with such sweet sorrow. On one side, you are happy, and proud of what you have done. But then then on the other side, you area sad – sad because the journey is over, because thing that drove you for so long is now done, because you aren't sure what to devote your thoughts and energy to next. That's how I felt when I arrived at the Cathedral de Santiago de Compostela – the "end" of the Camino. Historically, seeing the tomb of St. James was what this pilgrimage was all about. But for many, including myself, it has become so much more. After visiting the Cathedral we then headed to the Pilgrims office to get a certificate to document our achievement, an interesting experience in itself. The line was so long we had to get a number and we back, only to wait in line again. After showing my "credentials" – a document that I had to get stamped during my time on the Camino, two certificates were easily obtained. According to them, I walked 115 km on the Camino, which is almost 72 miles. But according to my tracks, I walked over 80 miles. Either way, it's a long walk. And I am happy to have done it. What I was surprised about was that they didn't ask me anything about why I did it. What was my purpose for hiking the Camino? Had they actually asked I probably would have explained that I almost died nearly 3 months ago, and I continue to search for the reason that I was spared. I still don't know the answer, other than I truly feel I have unfinished business in this Earth. All I know is that I finished the Camino and I'm pretty certain that most finishers, if any, can't say they did so only three months after breaking their neck and femur. They say miracles happen on the Camino, and I think this is one of those miracles. Not only am I lucky to be alive, but I am lucky to have experienced the Camino as part of my recovery. @lekiusa @blackdiamond @lasportivana #camino #caminodesantiago #spain #trauma #traumarecovery #traumarecovery #PostCervicalSpinalFusion #PostFemurFracture

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The third day was the crux of the voyage. And I honestly didn’t know if I could do it. We had to hike 18 miles that day, which ended up being more like 21, in the pouring rain.

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Today was hard. What was supposed to be an 18 mile hike turned into a 21 mile hike – partially because we got off route for 3/4 mile and also because the routes are always longer than they say. And it rained… The.. Whole… Day… And not just the misty kind of rain either. We started from Palas de Rei in the dark, as dawn doesn't break until 8:15 am because we are so far west in the time zone. And we finished like drowned rats, soaked through and through 9 hours later, in Arzua. I'll admit, it was mentally tough, and physically too. I set out the day with the goal of making it half way, stopping in the town of Melide, with plans to take a taking a taxi the rest of the way. But Melide came, and I felt okay to go on. We skipped lunch, but I stayed fed on cookies and made sure to drink lots of water, and took a picture of the octopus we were supposed to enjoy for lunch. Admittedly, the last 3 miles dragged on, and I was sore, tired, and drenched to the bone… and wondering why I didn't just take that taxi. But as I sit by the fire in the historic manor (built in the 1500's) turned B & B where we are staying, I am glad to have prevailed and thankful my family encouraged me the whole way. This is the Camino, afterall, a place where miracles happen! @lekiusa @smithoptics @lasportivana @blackdiamond #palasderei #arzua #camino #caminodesantiago #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #3monthsposttrauma #PostCervicalSpinalFusion #PostFemurFracture

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But, just being in Europe in general was good for my healing. Just being in the cities alone challenged me. Walking on cobblestone streets, worrying about tripping without a neck brace, while having to navigate around crowds of fast-moving people was honestly hard. Going to art museums and having to look up to see the cool stuff was hard too. Carrying my luggage – I could not have done it without help. All these things that we take for granted in our daily lives were still hard for me. But, but the end of the trip, these too had gotten better.

Overall strength
I lost about 15 pounds during my stay in the hospital. And it wasn’t the kind of weight I wanted to loose – it was mostly muscle. Never had I felt so weak in my life, so helpless, and tired so incredibly easy. Obviously, the lower body strength came back first. But up until 3 months after the accident, which coincided with our trip to Spain and Portugal, I wasn’t even allowed to lift more than 15 pounds with my arms. But, upon return from Europe I started hitting the gym and lifting light weights. My arms and shoulders and back continue to strengthen exponentially, as does the strength of the rest of my body.

The neck is the limiting factor
During our trip to Spain and Portugal, I was allowed to start working on range of motion in the neck. And gaining this range of motion is truly the crux of my healing. It’s taking a long time, though I work at it every day. But since my neck was immobile for so long, lots of scar tissue built up. Every now and then when I do my physical therapy, a horrid noise comes creaking through my neck – and it moves a little further. It’s the noise of that scar tissue tearing.

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Had a visit with the spine doctor today. Two weeks ago, I said that the surgery on my posterior cervical spine was the most painful surgery I have ever had. The incision alone is massive – seen in this photo taken as the staples were being removed this morning – and this has good deal to do with why this surgery hurt so much! * It's becoming more and more clear that the spine fusion is going to be the limiting factor in my healing process, compared to the femur and arterial occlusion. Admittedly, it's probably going to be an effort in patience. But, I am dedicated to healing and will be doing everything I can to help this bone heal as fast as possible, and do the therapy that needs to be done to maintain mobility and strength! #spinesurgery #trauma #traumasurgery #traumasurvivor

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Fusions like mine take a long time to heal. A recent x-ray from a couple of weeks ago shows that bone growth is just starting between the vertebrae. It’s been 4 months since the fusion, and the bone is just starting to grow there, yet it’s solid as a brick in my femur. The body is so weird. The neck is the reason why I can’t bike outside or can’t ski yet. The neck is the crux of my healing.

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Update 7/17 – On Monday night at 8:30 pm my spine surgeon paid me a visit. He said this one was gonna hurt. He was right. I've counted and I have had 8 surgeries in my life, and this one is by far the most painful – because they essentially ripped open the muscles out of my neck. But, after a full day of surgery, I now almost have full feeling back in my left hand. Yesterday's surgery was a huge success. Say hello to my new spine. Check out the staples down my back, and the fact that they said it was okay to leave my glasses on🤣. Once I can get past recovering from this surgery, I can blow this popsicle stand. Thanks to everyone who kept me in their thoughts yesterday. This surgery was certainly a big one! #spinesurgery #trauma #traumarecovery

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The other injuries
I had a lot of injuries. Aside from breaking my neck, sturnum, and femur, I also broke my little finger – but that wasn’t discovered for weeks after the accident.

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Update 8/23: When I was in the hospital, I swore my little finger was broken. They had x-rays taken, and told me it was not. But 6 weeks after the accident, as I shook hands with numerous people at Jess's wedding, I realized this little tiny finger was hurting way more than my femur – and I still could not straighten it. Something was not right. So, in an orthopedic follow up, I requested another set of x-rays which revealed an avulsion fracture – where a ligament tore off a piece of bone. So yes, it is broken. And yes I have a damaged ligament. Occupational therapy, here I come! I'd like that finger to go straight some day, you know? My femur is healing amazingly well. I ride hard every day on the stationary bike – so hard I drench my whole shirt in sweat. I am starting to walk without a cane and starting to use that leg to step first while going up and down stairs. Physical therapy continues to show daily progress. The neck gets stronger every day and I'll be starting to wean off the neck brace next week. Yep, you got that right – next week! Thanks to everyone who continues to support me through this. The calls, messages, lunch and dinner dates (and even hair cut dates) are so much appreciated! I am surrounded by so many wonderful people and I appreciate each and every one of you♥ Thanks for making me smile 😃 #traumasurvivor #traumawarrior #trauma #warrior #femurfracture #healinglikeachamp #brokenneck #imgonnabestrong

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Since then, I have been going to occupational therapy. But, because it went so long without being treated, the healing is slow. It’s a lot of work to get my finger to go straight, and I have a medieval torture tool as well as a nighttime splint that helps me. But, a few hours later, it just goes crooked again. At least I don’t need to go straight to be able to bike or ski again 😉

I suffered numerous lacerations on my head and arms and legs. My Harry Potter scar healed fast because it was treated well. They decided to stitch it up after they said they could see my scalp through the gaping cut. But a laceration in the back of my head went undetected for days and took over a month to heal as a result. Many other cuts took their time too – I was amazed at the damage to the skin on my legs considering I was wearing ski pants and leggings during the incident. Imagine how bad it might have been if I was not….

I also have twin lumps in my thighs….. Okay, let’s back up here. While I remember bracing for the tire to roll over my neck, I have no memory of things happening to my lower body. I was in shock when I sat up and noticed my femur was broken. But, evidence indicates that a tire rolled over that part of my body too, as I have matching lumps on either side of my thighs. The left one is largely due to the surgery to fix my femur. But a matching lump exists on my right leg, in the exact same placement as the left. However, this, I am told, is a seroma – different than a hemotoma as it doesn’t contain much blood. It’s full of other fluid though – or at least it was. I had it drained twice and some awful rusty colored stuff came out of it. A lot of fluid was aspirated the first time, but not a whole lot the second. Yet, the lump still remains. I continue to keep an Ace bandage wrapped around it with hopes that the compression will help the body naturally reabsorb it. That has been helping, but a lump still remains.

Then there is the hair. This is less noticable to just about everyone else but me. I lost about 1/3 of my hair while in the hospital. Part of this was because of the lacerations on my head and the associated blood that encrusted my hair so much it basically had to get ripped out. The other part was lost because my hair did not get brushed for days, resulting in unintentional dreadlocks, which also basically got ripped out. And then there was the back of the neck hair which they actually just cut off during my second neck surgery.

(The first of many hair-detangling sessions).

Where I am now
I am still healing. But every day I get stronger and more and more like myself. A couple of months ago, I claimed I was at 50% strength. Now, I’d say it’s more like 75%. Definite improvement, but the most difficult thing about healing is that it starts to slow as you are further along in the healing process. The last 5 to 10% of the healing is the hardest and takes the longest. And my pace to approach even that level has slowed, which is natural. I don’t see day to day improvements anymore. Improvements are more every few weeks, or month to month. But, I remain focused. I spend an average of 4 hours a day dedicated to my healing. Healing remains a part-time job for me.

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"Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you."-Walt Whitman, 1819-1892, American Poet *** A visit to the spine doc last week shows all is healing well! My posture is improving as well as the strength, function, and mobility of my arms (the left one was definitely more compromised). Although I have been out of the neck brace for all things but hiking, I have not been allowed to work on range of motion in my neck. But all that changes in 3 weeks – Then I can start actively turning and bending my neck, and my 10 lb weight restriction gets lifted so I can continue to work on progressing my upper body strength. – The femur fracture in the left leg? All seems good with that too. I get occasional cramps in the muscles at the site of the trauma, but no pain from the fracture. Just continuing to regain strength. – The broken sternum? Haven't felt that since July, except that a muscle was torn in the chest during the trauma which causes pain and limits the range of motion in my arms. But that too is significantly improving. – The broken finger? Well, that continues to be crooked. But it is slowly getting better. – The only thing not getting much better is a seroma on my right leg – a pocket of fluid that won't drain and refills when aspirated – whose location matches the site of the fracture on the opposite leg. So basically this leg took a beating too. We will see if this fluid finally starts to reabsorb after continuous compression and lots of manual therapy. – Nightmares and frequent spontaneous flashbacks have stopped, so my PTSD symptoms are waning. I am lucky my brain seems to be very resilient along with the body.

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The other hard part is my appearance. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, to most people I appear healed. Or they would never even know I was hurt in the first place. I am healed, but not healed. I still feel pain. Some daily tasks that were easy to me before my accident remain difficult, like lifting just about anything above my head or turning my head around to do things like back up a car. Even when I walk down a crowded street or store, I still worry about people running into me and hurting my neck. Driving over speed bumps hurts even more. Getting items off the top shelf of the grocery is as hard as climbing a mountain.

But, I remain positive and overall thankful to be alive.

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Thanksgiving now has new meaning to to me. 🦃 Today, I can honestly say that I am thankful to be alive, walking, & healing well. July 6th will be a date I remember for the rest of my life. Who knew you could get run over by your own car & that it would actually be survivable? I am thankful that it was & thankful for the quick response of Park County (increased by the use of our Garmin InReach), the Flight for Life helicopter that took me to St Anthony's hospital, the team of surgeons, doctors & nurses, physical therapists, etc that cared for me during my 2 week stay.. I am thankful for the continuous help support of family & friends & fans through the healing process. Healing is my job & even though I appear highly functional to most people, I still feel pain & fight effects of the trauma EVERY DAY. It will likely be more than a year before I am fully healed & there may be some things that never quite do – for example, I have lost some feeling in my left hand. It may never fully come back. But I am thankful for every day I have on this Earth, thankful that I can truly call myself a survivor, thankful for my body's ability to heal, that my brain was minimally impacted, that I can hike & thankful that I will be skiing & mountain biking in 2020. I am thankful that this experience has given my life new meaning, that it has enriched me as a person, & helped me develop deeper empathy. I am thankful for my physical strength & mental fortitude, & that both continue to develop every day. It's normal human tendency to "ask why" when bad things happen. I have asked that about so many things over the course of my life. But I never "asked why" about this accident. I believe the Universe doesn't put things in your life's path that you can't handle. I feel that all my experiences in life led me to be ready for this & that if it had to happen to someone, then it may as well be me. Not only could I survive it, but I could thrive from it. And that is now my goal – to take this horrible experience & use it to reshape my life and bloom – a metamorphosis of sorts. I am a butterfly emerging slowly from my cocoon. I am not ready yet, but one day I will fly🦋 @lekiusa @smithoptics

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I am a butterfly quietly emerging from my cacoon. I am not ready yet, but one day I will fly.

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Unlucky Lucky – Part 4 – My journey home https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/08/unlucky-lucky-part-4-my-journey-home/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/08/unlucky-lucky-part-4-my-journey-home/#comments Thu, 08 Aug 2019 21:38:29 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=443552 Back in the hospital, a doctor had told me that I would be there for up to weeks, and would probably spend some time in a rehab facility upon discharge too. No one was with me when I spoke to him, but I wish they had been. It was maybe that conversation that drove me the most... I told him, "I'm strong. You just wait and see. I'm going to surprise you."

Perhaps I surprised nearly everyone by my quick recovery given the extent of my injuries.... everyone except for myself :)

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I was discharged from the hospital on Friday, July 19th. But, we didn’t feel like it was good for me to go all the way home to Crested Butte right away. Both Frank and I felt like it was a good idea to stick around the Front Range for a few days with family so that I could see how I was doing out of the hospital, yet have medical services nearby if I needed it for some reason. I also had a follow up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon who put the rod in my femur scheduled for the following Tuesday morning. So, it didn’t really make sense to go home until after this appointment.

We stayed with Frank’s mom in Golden. I immediately was happier and more comfortable. I didn’t miss being constantly connected to IV’s and woken up in the middle of the night multiple times by nurses. And I was able to enjoy more time with family. My pain subsided considerably and I stopped taking all opioid based painkillers in place of CBD oil.

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Update 7/20 – Amazing progress. Haven’t taken an opioid-based drug since leaving the hospital and my neck pain and strength continues to improve. I was even able to hold my head up long enough to have a family dinner at the table. Down to one crutch for walking. Feeling so good to be out of the hospital! #imgonnabestrong #trauma #traumasurgery

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In Golden, I was able to be more independently mobile, which helped my healing and strength. But being disconnected from the IV’s also made me realize that my left arm was considerably weakened still from the injury. Though I had good grip strength, some movements, like pushing down on a soap dispenser, were unusually hard.

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/21 – Dancing with the crutches to battle the stir craziness that I have! Though recovery is going well, I think this will be the hardest recovery yet to face. The broken femur seems to be healing well, but since leaving the hospital I have realized I have lost some function and strength in my left arm due to the nerve damage from my broken neck. I hope that with time and physical therapy, a lot of that function will come back. Though I am relatively mobile, every daily routine is a chore, more because of my neck then the femur. I can’t twist my head, or lean forward or back or side to side. So, my movement is very limited. Getting dressed takes the same energy as a decent bike ride. Taking a shower is like climbing a mountain. Honestly, I’d probably be in a rehab facility if it weren’t for the gracious support of my family and my husband, Frank – helping me with all the little things I can’t do like picking up crutches when I drop them. I remain positive and incredibly grateful for what I do have, and that I am alive…. #warrior #trauma #traumasurgery #traumarecovery

 

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My dad and stepmom left early on Sunday morning to return to Ohio. I continued to work on physical therapy and regaining my independence through daily functions and routines. More friends came to visit, which I was thankful for. But, I was still really yearning to get home.

Finally, Tuesday morning came… It was time for me to follow up with the orthopedic surgeon about my femur. In the hospital, I wasn’t exactly given a choice as to who performed any of my surgeries. It was emergency care, after all. The femur was supposed to have been done by another surgeon, but then a couple hours before the actual surgery, I was given another surgeon. But, in the end, I’m thankful, because Dr. Roland did a great job on my femur. He normally practices out of Panorama Orthopedic in Golden (convenient for us for the follow up), but he spends some time at St. Anthony’s helping out with cases like mine. I am forever grateful that he performed the surgery in such a way that allowed me to be weight bearing on my femur right after surgery. How is that possible? I certainly did get a lot of questions about that! I addressed some of that below:

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/24 – Had a visit with the doc that put the rod in my femur yesterday. As I walked into the room and put my crutches aside and stood in front of him, he exclaimed, “You are already weeks ahead of where most people would be wit this injury!” I replied, “Well, I’ve had a lot of knee surgeries for practice!” – Many people have asked or commented about my broken femur and why I was allowed to walk on it as soon as the rod was put in. I found it strange myself as I know over a dozen people to have also broken their femurs, but none of whom where allowed to put much weight on their broken bone, if any, for about 6 weeks post-op. The doc explained yesterday that because my fracture was so close to the hip, they had to use a longer rod that basically went close to my femoral head. Because of this, he used two screws to secure the top of the rod, instead of one. It is something to do with the placement of these two screws that allows me to put weight on my femur as the fracture heals (the bottom is secured with only one screw, scroll through the photos). – Admittedly, I would feel the bone shift a tiny bit sometimes when I moved for the first week. But after a week, it began to calcify enough that I no longer felt it. I sometimes get aches in the hip when I walk, likely due to the large incision there.. But I don’t feel much on the fracture itself. – I am very to thankful that I can walk on my femur as it makes my recovery a little easier. Trying to manage a broken neck with a non-weight bearing leg would be extremely difficult! I have said times over that this incident has been unlucky lucky. Breaking my femur was unlucky, but I am lucky that the healing of it is relatively easy😃

 

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Another thing I didn’t mention in that post – if you look closely you can see a chunk of bone still in my thigh. That was leftover from the trauma. Dr. Roland explained that he chose not to remove it because he was trying to minimize the damage to my muscles, and it would be likely that my body would naturally absorb it eventually anyway. Currently, I don’t notice the bone in my thigh or feel pain from it.

After the appointment, we headed back to Golden where Frank proceeded to pack up the car. It turns out after a two week stay in the Front Range, we had acquired a lot of things. A lot of it was necessary items to help me in my recovery – like a pillow wedge to sleep on, a shower chair, etc. Either way, it took awhile for Frank to pack up. But, eventually we were on the road.

Driving…. Well, riding as a passenger anyway, is uncomfortable for me at the moment. My neck feels every acceleration and deceleration, every turn and corner, every stop and go, and of course every little bump. Putting a pillow behind my head alleviates some of this, but it is still painful at times. But, I dealt with the pain because it was worth it to get home.

When we arrived in Crested Butte, I made Frank take me to one of my favorite overlooks – before we even stopped home. I wanted to see our town, the wildflowers, and soak in the sky.

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/23 – On July 6th, when Frank and I left our home in the dark hours of the morning, we had no idea what that day would become. We didn’t know that I’d get run over by my own car, take a helicopter to Denver, sustain dangerous injuries like a broken femur, broken neck, and occluded vertebral artery, and undergo 3 surgeries with a 2 week stay at the hospital. During our time of need, we didn’t expect the incredible outpouring of support. But we were happy to have felt so much love. And now, 17 days later we have finally made our journey home! I still have months of recovery and a lot of hard work ahead, but this has been a huge goal I’ve been looking toward for these last couple of weeks. There really is no place like home 🤣☀🌻🌲🌈 #imgonnabestrong #warrior #recoverywarrior #trauma #traumasurgery #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor

 

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I was finally home. Ever since I was admitted to the hospital on the morning of July 6th, that had been my goal – to get home…. At home I could heal better, be more comfortable, sleep more soundly, cuddle with my cat, enjoy the fresh air on our deck, hear and see the hummingbirds at feeder. It was good to be home.

I knew my recovery was just really starting, and that this particular road to recovery was going to be the hardest one yet. But, being home made any challenges that I faced ahead seem a little easier.

Back in the hospital, a doctor had told me that I would be there for up to weeks, and would probably spend some time in a rehab facility upon discharge too. No one was with me when I spoke to him, but I wish they had been. It was maybe that conversation that drove me the most… I told him, “I’m strong. You just wait and see. I’m going to surprise you.”

Perhaps I surprised nearly everyone by my quick recovery given the extent of my injuries…. everyone except for myself 🙂

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Unlucky Lucky – Part 3 – The most painful surgery https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/08/unlucky-lucky-part-3-the-most-painful-surgery/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/08/unlucky-lucky-part-3-the-most-painful-surgery/#comments Fri, 02 Aug 2019 11:43:05 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=443511 On Monday night, I was alone in my room and my spine surgeon came in to visit with me. Some surgeons can be weird, and admittedly, this was one of them. He said that this surgery was going to be painful - more than the last spine surgery, that it might make me worse, and that he would pray for me. I'm sure he was going from and "under-expect but over-perform" standpoint. But, his words didn't inspire confidence in any way. I would have preferred to hear something like, "You know, there are risks with this surgery, but I have had overwhelming success in similar surgeries" - Or something along those lines. Instead, his words were making me squeamish and more nervous than I already was.

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After spending a week in ICU, it was so good to be on the regular trauma floor. The wake ups in the middle of the night were less frequent. I actually had a closed off bathroom with a shower. I didn’t have nearly as many IV’s and electrodes connected to my body. I had been doing walking laps around the ICU, being escorted by physical therapists or nurses, but on the regular floor, I was allowed to be escorted by friends and family. Walking, and therefore healing, was easier.
trauma recovery

I was visited by many more friends and family, and also hospital staff and volunteers that gave me massages or sang or played music. Mollie the dog even gave me a dose of healing magic.
Trauma healing

I was even visited by a trauma survivor, who was a volunteer for a peer support group for trauma survivors like me. It was great to be able to connect and share our stories and gain advice for how to recover from this experience, both physically and mentally. The Trauma Survivors Network is a great resource.

I was honestly feeling pretty good, but I remained the hospital largely because I still had one more surgery to go. The day after my admission to St. Anthony’s Hospital, they had operated on my cervical spine, stabilizing it from the front. But, the still wanted to stabilize it from the back. Tuesday July 16th was the day slated for that surgery.

On Monday night, I was alone in my room and my spine surgeon came in to visit with me. Some surgeons can be weird, and admittedly, this was one of them. He said that this surgery was going to be painful – more than the last spine surgery, that it might make me worse, and that he would pray for me. I’m sure he was going from and “under-expect but over-perform” standpoint. But, his words didn’t inspire confidence in any way. I would have preferred to hear something like, “You know, there are risks with this surgery, but I have had overwhelming success in similar surgeries” – Or something along those lines. Instead, his words were making me squeamish and more nervous than I already was.

But, as I have said before, the Universe seems to send you the things you need when you most need them. Moments after my surgeon left, I was visited by a trauma PA whom I had not met before, but he was the husband of a former roommate and ski teammate from college. He knew details of my case, told me he was impressed by my positivity and recovery, and was able to answer some questions for me. I had been asking various hospital staff if there was a possibility we could see if my ACL on my left knee was intact, as I had a history of tearing it before. My last surgery for it was just in 2016 and it had taken me a year to recover. This PA was able to perform the Lachman’s test on me to determine that yes, the ligament was indeed intact and feeling strong. Whew. After his visit, I felt confident again, and slept more soundly again.

My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 am. I woke up early and ready for what should be my last surgery for this hospital stay.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/16 ~ Ready to face my last surgery today! The spine doctor will fuse my posterior vertebrae from C5 to T1. Admittedly, I’m a little bit more nervous for this surgery than I was for the previous two because I am not in dire pain. But, the surgery is necessary to stabilize by spine. Once this is complete I can really start thinking about being discharged. On another note, I have been concerned since my admission that ligaments in my left knee, where I also broke my femur, might be compromised. Although I felt no signs of instabilities, I have torn the ACL in that knee twice in the past. However, a PA confirmed that the ACL is indeed intact. Thanks to Dr. Armando Vidal for reconstructing that ACL 3 years ago so that it could withstand a trauma like this!

 

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As they wheeled me down toward the operating room, I continued to be nervous. I remember meeting various nurses and PA’s who would help during the surgery, the lights and smells and sounds of the OR. And then, before I knew it, I was waking up in post-op, and it was already 3 pm.

They held me in post-op for quite some time because my blood pressure was low. But, it’s always low, I tried to tell them. I was trying to minimize the opioid drugs for pain, as I don’t typically like how they make me feel, and most of them tend to make me nauseous yet do nothing for the pain. But ended ended up giving in to one shot of it in the IV. It turns out the surgeon was right, it turn. It hurt A LOT.

They wheeled me up to my room where I had another restless night of sleep, and a whole lot of pain. I finally had to give in to narcotics again. Through the night, they gave me several IV doses of Dilaudid. This is one opioid I have had success with in actually helping pain, without making me nauseous. But, I did’t like the doses they gave me through the IV as they were strong and made me pretty loopy.

The next day I remained in a lot of pain, but tried to stay off the Dilaudid. But, I was miserable. Anyone who knows me knows that I have an incredibly high tolerance for pain. I endured three knee surgeries, a thyroid surgery, and a thumb surgery without taking opioid pain meds post-op. Even from this trauma event alone, breaking a femur is supposed to be very painful. Yet, I barely complained about it. But this surgery. This surgery was the most painful one I’d had to date.

The nurses tried putting me on oral Percocet which again did nothing for the pain, but made me nauseous. And my pain level continued to be untolerable. I needed to get it under control. Eventually, I elected to be put back on a Dilaudid pain drip, where I could press a button as often as every 10 minutes to release los doses of it into my IV. I preferred these low doses because I didn’t feel so loopy, yet the pain was managed. Almost instantly I was feeling much better.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/17 – On Monday night at 8:30 pm my spine surgeon paid me a visit. He said this one was gonna hurt. He was right. I’ve counted and I have had 8 surgeries in my life, and this one is by far the most painful – because they essentially ripped open the muscles out of my neck. But, after a full day of surgery, I now almost have full feeling back in my left hand. Yesterday’s surgery was a huge success. Say hello to my new spine. Check out the staples down my back, and the fact that they said it was okay to leave my glasses on🤣. Once I can get past recovering from this surgery, I can blow this popsicle stand. Thanks to everyone who kept me in their thoughts yesterday. This surgery was certainly a big one! #spinesurgery #trauma #traumarecovery

 

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That night I slept well, no longer in severe pain. I don’t think I even used the pain drip for 12 hours. I think had them try a new oral medication, Tramadol, which again seemed to keep my pain at bay without making me nauseous. This was important step for me, as in order for me to be discharged, they needed my pain to be under control with oral pain meds.

Things were looking up, and it was looking very possible that I might be discharged the very next day. There were still two things that needed to happen before I could be discharged. First, I needed to show the physical therapists I could walk up and down stairs – which I hadn’t been able to do because I had been connected to IV heparin blood thinner the whole time. But there was a brief time when I was taken off and they could finally test me:

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/18 – In today’s physical therapy session I showed them that I have no problem walking up and down stairs. It turns out, those 4 knee surgeries I had in the past gave me plenty of practice with that sort of thing… And I’ll say that the femur surgery is actually less painful than most of my knee surgeries, which is something I did not expect. – I’m trying to push to get discharged as soon as possible. I finally have the pain from Tuesday’s neck surgery managed. Now, the main barrier is the arterial occlusion in my head. They want me on blood thinners to minimize my risk of stroke from the blood clot, but there is some “bridging” involved in transitioning me from a IV blood thinner (heparin) to an oral one. – I have a long battle ahead in my recovery. But, I am ready to face the next set of challenges once I leave the hospital! Thanks everyone for your constant encouragement and support! You all are amazing! #imgonnabestrong #warrior #trauma #traumasurgery

 

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Next, I needed to transition from the IV bloodthinner to an oral blood thinner, to help control the blood clot that was in my vertebral artery, posing a risk of stroke. I didn’t want to go on Coumadin for multiple inconvenience issues = I would need to get daily blood tests for awhile until the dosage was determined, and then weekly blood tests after that, for as long was I was on the drug, which could be up to 6 months. Since I can’t drive for awhile, this would not only be inconvenient for me, but for my husband. So, we looked for other alternatives and due to insurance reasons, decided on Xeralto.

Finally, agreed it was time for me to go.

 

trauma recovery

trauma recovery

trauma recovery

While I had left the hospital, it wasn’t time for me to go home yet. We decided it would be best for me to stay in Golden with Frank’s family for a few days. We had a follow up for the femur on Tuesday and my parents, who were visiting from Ohio, weren’t planning on leaving until Sunday. So, it made sense to stay on the Front Range for a bit before making the journey home to the mountains.

To be continued…

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Unlucky Lucky Part 2 – A story of trauma recovery https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/07/unlucky-lucky-part-2-a-story-of-trauma-recovery/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/07/unlucky-lucky-part-2-a-story-of-trauma-recovery/#comments Wed, 31 Jul 2019 10:48:52 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=443479 I was thankful when they decided that I would undergo femur surgery that day. From what I understand, the surgery was pretty quick - a couple of hours. And then, I remember them saying to me post-op, “Your leg is now weight-bearing as tolerated.” What? That’s impossible? I’d known over a dozen people to have broken their femurs too, and none of them were allowed to put significant weight on it for 6 weeks. How could this be? But, it was what it was. It didn’t take me long to be determined for the next step…. I wanted to walk again.

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Upon leaving the ER, they wheeled me up to ICU and I spent a very hallucinogenic night there. I did sleep, but I was in a lot of pain. The nurses kept waking me up because the arterial line that was connected to my left wrist was acting up. This line was used to monitor my blood pressure and oxygen levels, breathing rate, etc. It was especially important because I was undergoing spinal perfusion protocol, meaning they were trying to elevate my blood pressure with IV drugs to help improve blood flow, and therefore healing, to the spinal cord. My left arm, however, was the one most impacted by the nerve damage from my spine. Overnight, the nerve pain in that arm and hand became worse, and I kept moving it into positions that were more comfortable for me, but optimal for arterial line readings.

The next morning, one of the spinal physician assistants came to check on me. The tests showed I was getting weaker in the left arm. Spine surgery needed to happen ASAP.

In order to do the surgery, they had to take me off the blood thinner medication, which of course increased my risk of stroke. It was a long day of waiting for the surgery, and 6 hours of so of surgery itself. But, I came out of it so much better. I no longer had numbness in my right hand, and I regained some feeling in my left as well. More importantly, that stabbing pain in my neck was finally gone. I could truly breathe a sigh of relief.

ruptured disc from neck.
A disc that had ruptured, causing me nerve pain, and was removed from my neck.

The next morning, I woke up feeling more human. I made my first Facebook post explaining the situation:

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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On Saturday I was subjected to the most tragic experience of my entire life. One of those fluke freak accidents that you think will never happen…. As Frank and I arrived to the trailhead of something that we were planning to ski, I got out of my car just to get something quickly out of the trunk. I thought I put the car in park but apparently I did not. Because as I tried to open the car trunk the car started moving on me, reversing on me and I stumbled to get out of its way. I missed and the entire car ran over me, thrashing me around tires running over my head. Everything mutilating my body. I didn’t feel the pain. All I felt was how much I wanted it to just stop. What body part was it going to get next. When the car finally stopped, I screamed in terror for not knowing what else to do. I grabbed for my head which was bleeding profusely. Then I looked down at my leg, and my femur was mangled. Frank came running towards me. He saw the blood right away. But I said, don’t worry about the blood. My head is fine. My leg is not. I broke my femur. With the aid of two other people at the trailhead Frank managed to move me into the back of our Subaru. We started driving down to cell service. It was then that I noticed the pain in my neck. And I was worried about a spinal injury. Frank pulled over the car and pulled the SOS function on our Garmin. He continued driving as slow as he could. We were both in shock. Eventually, he reach 911 and at the end of the dirt road there was an ambulance waiting and then helicopter to take me to a hospital in Denver. A CAT scan revealed a broken rib, a broken neck, and a broken femur. I also think that my finger is broken but I don’t think there’s much they can do about that. I have several lacerations and they put 20 stitches in my forehead -apparently the laceration went all the way to the bone.. I am srathched and bruised all over and feel like car ran over me. People say that breaking a femur is very painful. But I didn’t feel a thing. I still don’t feel it even as I lie here with it and traction. But I did feel it was my neck. My neck hurt. And it hurt all the time until yesterday (continued)

 

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But, I was still very much a wreck. Because of the traction, I could not sit up more than 30 degrees or the bones in my leg would start pulling apart. Blood was still on my face, and plastered in my hair making it stiff, like I was wearing too much hairspray. I also had blood all over my hands still, despite the efforts of the ER nurses to wash it off. It was ingrained in my fingerprints and cuticles. Keep in mind, I hadn’t eaten anything since Saturday morning, and it was now Monday. And I didn’t see that changing until I could sit up more than 30 degrees anyway.

I was thankful when they decided that I would undergo femur surgery that day. From what I understand, the surgery was pretty quick – a couple of hours. And then, I remember them saying to me post-op, “Your leg is now weight-bearing as tolerated.” What? That’s impossible? I’d known over a dozen people to have broken their femurs too, and none of them were allowed to put significant weight on it for 6 weeks. How could this be? But, it was what it was. It didn’t take me long to be determined for the next step…. I wanted to walk again.

But first I needed to start eating again, after being three days on solely IV fluids, and I needed to do a bit of self care… I still had blood dried in my hair, make it stiff like I had too much hairspray. I still had blood all over my hands. I hadn’t bathed in days, and I was feeling good enough to know that I felt dirty. I asked the nurse to help bathe me. But that day she never got around to it. I was so thankful when my friend Heather arrived to visit. She is a long-time nurse herself and knew what to do. She more or less took over, asked the nurses for the right supplies, and started bathing me herself. It was then that we discovered a second laceration on my head – this time in the back, about 4 inches long. It probably should have been stitched but was easily overlooked in the ER. Now, it was too late to stitch. But, Heather got a good deal of blood out of my hair, some more off my hands, and bathed my skin so I didn’t feel like an oily mess. I finally felt minutely humane again.

The next morning my friend Natalie visited (In the post below), helping to brush my hair more to get the dread-lock snarls out that had developed over the last few days. As she left, the physical therapists arrived…. And then I learned to walk again….

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/11 – Yesterday, I learned to walk again. Protocol for the rod in my leg is weight-bearing as tolerated. So, I can cautiously stand on it and walk, but have to be careful because my spine is not fully fixed. The PT and ortho teams were a little hesitant to get me up and moving. But I told them that I could do it, and I did. My desire to heal from this is very strong. I believe I can get past this and recover to enjoy the things I could do before this terrible accident. I remain positive, and part of that is because of all of you pulling behind me. All the positivity and well wishes that have been flowing towards me has made a big difference. I am blessed to have so much support from my husband and my family and my friends. I never knew how important that could be until now. Thanks to all of you ❤

 

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After laying down for days it admittedly felt really strange to sit up again. My blood pressure dropped, which made them hesitant to allow me to stand.

Sitting up was the first step.

But I told them I wanted to walk and that I could walk. My constant persistence and positive attitude persuaded them to allow me to do so…
Learning to walk again after trauma.

By the next day, I walked to the end of the hall and back:

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/12- Every morning I get an inspirational quote sent to my email. This is what came this morning, “He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.Louisa May Alcott – 1832-1888 – Novelist-Short Story Writer-Poet.” I believe that I am strong. And I believe that I will rise above these injuries. Yesterday, I walked all the way down the hall and back, twice. And PT said they’d never seen anything like like it before. I have been off the pain meds for a couple of days now, and each day I get better and better, with all of your encouragement and well wishes. Healing is my focus, recovery is my job. Which leads me to the fact that I won’t be able to really return to work for quite some time. With piling medical bills, some of which insurance is sure to not cover, this ordeal is going to be as much of a financial setback as a physical one. My sister-in-law has set up a GoFundMe to help gather donations to help me during this time of need. I don’t like asking for help. But in this case, it’s become necessary. So please consider donating: https://www.gofundme.com/f/brittany-walker-konsella-recovery-fund – Thanks so much to those who have already contributed! And thanks so much for all of your love and support! 💓

 

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And the days just started getting better…

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/13 – Yesterday was a big day! I got ICU spa treatment with a massage, full hair wash (blood is still in my hair from other cuts), and full body wash. Even got most of the blood off my hands. The PT people gave me the okay to graduate from a walker to crutches. Plus, I got the stitches removed on my forehead! Looking like I’m transferring out of ICU today too as I am finishing up with spinal profusion protocol, where they elevate my blood pressure to promote healing of the spine, monitoring it constantly. I still gotta stick around this place for another neck surgery on Tuesday. And also waiting to see results of a scan to see if the blood clot in the back of my head is dissolving or has changed it all. Hard to believe it’s been a week since I got rolled over by a car…. Thanks to everyone for their constant encouragement, messages, emails, gifts, and donations to our GoFundMe. The generosity of friends, family, community members, and even strangers has been unparalleled. It shows me that there is so much compassion in humanity still. Thanks everyone ❤

 

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I was eager to get out of the ICU…

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/14 – Well, they didn’t quite spring me out of ICU yet. Yesterday, they weaned me off of the Levophed that was elevating my blood pressure. They wanted to keep me overnight just to make sure that my blood pressure didn’t drop a whole lot as a result of being off the Levo. But my blood pressure seems to be doing well and signs are pointing towards me actually leaving ICU later today. In the meantime, I’m enjoying some walks around the floor and physical therapy activities. Here the therapist was having me stand one leg and swing my leg back and to the side to work those glutes! Second neck surgery is still on course for Tuesday!

 

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And was finally sprung on the 15th, 8 days after being admitted to the hospital. Some people thought that was quick. But, it felt like an eternity.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
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Update 7/15 – Goodbye ICU! They finally kicked me out of the ICU, and moved me to the regular trauma floor were they allowed me to take an actual shower. Finally, the excess blood has been freed from my body. To feel hot water streaming over me, something I haven’t felt in 9 days, was amazing! My new room is beautiful, has some great mountain views, and coincidentally even has a picture of the flowers and Gothic valley near Trail 401 in Crested Butte. The Universe is telling me I’m slowly making my way home. Plan still stands for my second neck surgery on Tuesday. Then they will see how I am faring, but they are talking about discharging me this week! #recovery #healing #imgonnabestrong #trauma #traumarecovery

 

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The picture of Crested Butte in my new room on the regular trauma floor brought tears to my eyes. I was one step closer to getting home…

To be continued…

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Unlucky Lucky – A story of trauma and survival – Part 1 https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/07/unlucky-lucky-a-story-of-trauma-and-survival-part/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2019/07/unlucky-lucky-a-story-of-trauma-and-survival-part/#respond Tue, 30 Jul 2019 17:36:02 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=443465 On July 6th, Frank and I left Crested Butte in the dark hours of the morning, driving toward Fairplay, with the intention of skiing a peak near that area. We didn’t know that tragedy would strike, so much that we wouldn’t make our way back to Crested Butte for two and a half weeks - and our lives would be forever changed.

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On July 6th, Frank and I left Crested Butte in the dark hours of the morning, driving toward Fairplay, with the intention of skiing a peak near that area. We didn’t know that tragedy would strike, so much that we wouldn’t make our way back to Crested Butte for two and a half weeks – and our lives would be forever changed.

When we arrived at the trailhead, we were discussing some options and I wanted to get a map that was in the back of my Subaru Forester. I was driving, parked the car on the dirt lot, and walked to the back open the trunk. The car was parked on an incline, and as I pulled on the hatch, the car began rolling backwards. I stumbled and the next thing I knew, I was under the car.

I was pinned down by my face as the tire rolled over my neck. I don’t have a clear memory of what happened next, other than I remember being thrashed around and moved by the car. All I know is that I wanted it to stop. I was helpless.

When the car was no longer over me, I started screaming. I didn’t know what else to do. Blood gushed profusely from my head. I held my hands to my head and blood ran all over them. Then I twisted and looked at my legs. My left thigh was mangled – it didn’t even look like a leg.

Thankfully Frank had been in the passenger seat of my Forester and he was eventually able to get the car to stop. Had he not, the car would have rolled off the edge of the road, likely injuring him too, and making the car undriveable. Frank ran toward me, reacting to the blood streaming from my head. I told him not to worry about my head so much because my femur was broken….

I wasn’t in pain. But I was beginning to realize the severity of the situation.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked. “I’m going to go into shock,” I said. “We need to get me into the back of the car and get help as soon as possible.”

Frank could not lift me himself. But, the Universe has an uncanny way of giving you the things you need when you need them most because just then, two people drove up to the trailhead and they helped Frank get me into the back of our car.

We didn’t have cell service there. As Frank began to drive down the bumpy dirt road, the pain began to set in in my neck. I began to realize there was a potential spine injury. At that point, Frank reached for our Garmin InReach and activated the SOS button. Expletives happened with nearly every bump as pain radiated from my neck. Frank help his phone in one hand, dialing 911 over and over. And finally he got someone.

A few miles later, an ambulance met us on the road, and a helicopter was seen landed in the distance. As the emergency medical personnel began to tend to me, the shivers started happening. “I’m going into shock,” I said. “Broken femur, neck, head,” I kept saying as I felt scissors on each leg, cutting my ski pants off. They cut off my shirt too and transferred me to the ambulance.

After a very short ride in the ambulance, they transferred me again to the helicopter. The nurse explained it was a 20 minute ride to Denver. To me, it felt like eternity.

Flight for Life helicopter
Transfer of the ambulance to the Flight for Life helicopter.

I’ve never liked hospitals. But, when I arrived there, I was so thankful. I was still alert. I knew what was going on. I could answer details of the accident, tell them what day it was, and anything they wanted to know. They finally were able to get a good IV into me (my veins are pretty terrible for needles) and get me some of the pain medication I needed. A kind PA stitched up a large laceration in my forehead, which was deep enough to the the bone beneath. They also rushed me pretty swiftly into a full body CT scan to see exactly what was wrong with me. The also ended up doing an MRI of my head.

Emergency room, trauma incident.
Shortly after being admitted to the ER at St. Anthony’s hospital in Denver.

The exact order of events is somewhat scattered in my head now. But, somewhere in the mix, Frank arrived to the hospital. My friend Susan had been visiting the Denver area too and also came. I made it a point to try to remember the name of every nurse and doctor that talked to me to make sure my brain was working still. And I learned that the hospital I was at was St. Anthony’s – the best in the state for trauma incidents.

The scans revealed that I indeed had a broken femur (but nothing else on the leg was broken), that I had a broken neck, and a broken sternum. Yep, that’s right. A broken neck. I had numbness in my hands and arms, which aligned with spinal damage at the points where the vertebrae were broken. They did some tests on my function and decided I was still “neurologically intact.”

Broken femur x-ray.
X-ray of my broken femur.
Spinal damage.
Scan of my neck. You can see the pressure was being put on the spine in the C5 through C7 areas.

But there was still one more thing wrong with me. I had an occluded vertebral artery. Basically, that means that an artery that feeds my brain with blood was more or less squished, like a pinched straw. Because of this occlusion, a blood clot had formed, which presented a risk of stroke. As days progressed, we realized that the first 72 hours of this blood clot are the most dangerous and for this reason they were wanting to push surgery on my spine and femur off for as long as possible, and put me on blood thinners to treat the blood clot.

In the ER, they also put me under to reset my femur and put a pin in my tibia for traction. This means they basically had my leg connected to a pulley coming from the pin in my tibia, weighted with 15 lbs of sandbags. It was going to help keep my bone in place and minimize my pain.

Traction for femur break.
Part of the traction system to help my femur remain set in place.
Traction for femur break.
Another photo of the traction system.

I knew I had a long stretch of surgeries and hospital time and recovery ahead. But, just how much – that wasn’t clear. And even though the extent of my injuries was very severe, I was glad that it wasn’t even worse. So many other things could have gone wrong. I was feeling unlucky lucky, and happy to be alive. To be honest though, there was never a point during this incident that I stopped believing that I would make it through this. I sometimes wonder if that helped me pull through.

To be continued….

 

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ACL Recovery Update: 6 months post-op https://dev.14erskiers.com/2017/05/acl-recovery-update-6-months-post-op/ https://dev.14erskiers.com/2017/05/acl-recovery-update-6-months-post-op/#respond Wed, 17 May 2017 16:44:24 +0000 https://dev.14erskiers.com/?p=425566 Every step of recovery is big. But, with improvement, each step takes longer and longer. After my knee surgery, improvements were fast with the first week. After a month, the straight leg brace came off and I was able to actually begin riding my trainer and improve my strength. At month three, I could ride my bike outside. And then after 6 months I can finally ride my bike on single track.

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ACL recovery
Riding at Hartman Rocks in Gunnison one of my first days after returning to singletrack after 6 months of ACL recovery.

Every step of recovery is big. But, with improvement, each step takes longer and longer. After my knee surgery, improvements were fast with the first week. After a month, the straight leg brace came off and I was able to actually begin riding my trainer and improve my strength. At month three, I could ride my bike outside. And then after 6 months I can finally ride my bike on single track.

Mountain biking at Hartman Rocks after 6 months of ACL recovery.
Enjoying riding on one of the many dirt roads at Hartman Rocks in Gunnison a few days before I was able to ride singletrack again.

Of course, as I rest on each step of the healing process, I eagerly await the next. Monday was my 6 month mark, something I’d been looking forward to for three months. And even though I am incredibly stoked to have reached this point, I am looking forward to month 9 where I am fully cleared for all activities, including skiing. If you’ve done the math, then you realize that month 9 will be in mid-August which is typically one of the hardest months to ski in Colorado. Yes, it’s possible. But, rather than deal with sun cups, runnels and all the sketchiness of summer snow, I think I’ll just wait for the lifts to start spinning for the 2017-18 ski season. The way I see it, that’s another 5 or 6 months away. Again, another big step.

Mountain biking for ACL recovery.
A few of my recovery rides on roads ended in snow squalls. Here, I took this photo while it was snowing, although the snowflakes are hard to see.

If you have been following my recovery know it’s been a long road to this point – two surgeries, three months apart. And now I am 6 months past the more recent of the two. Add in the 3 more months I have until I am cleared for all activities and that makes this a year-long process…. the longest one I’ve had in my life so far. It’s surely been a lesson in patience.

Enjoying spring colors while mountain biking the wonderful singletrack at Hartman Rocks.
Enjoying spring colors while mountain biking the wonderful singletrack at Hartman Rocks.

In the last three months, my recovery has been more like training. I ride. I ride my bike as much as I can. I still go the gym to get on the elliptical and lift weights, but with improving weather and strength, that has become less necessary. I’ll be canceling my gym membership at the end of the month. I still do physical therapy exercises at home too – though their focus has shifted. Strengthening my leg is just a small part of my routine. I also work a lot on core and hip strength – and overall body strength – as well as agility. I incorporate a lot of plyometrics, pilates, and yoga movements as part of my routine.

Mountain biking for ACL recovery.
Pausing by a creek on the Rainbow Road north of Blue Mesa Reservoir.

I knew April would be a tough stretch because that’s typically a good time for backcountry skiing. During this time, snow usually becomes very stable and you can really get after it on some bigger lines which is what I love about backcountry skiing the most. To cope with the fact that I was missing the best part of the season, Frank and I did something we don’t normally do, and we may never do again – we went somewhere hot. Our time in Panama and Colombia was a blast, and was a perfect vacation to take my mind off of all the ski mountaineering I was missing.

Hiking to a beach in Panama after 5 months of ACL recovery.
The Buzzard trails just outside of Montrose are a great area for easy and fun riding for ACL recovery!
I love to explore and mountain biking has allowed me to quench this desire even though I can’t do it on skis. The Buzzard trails just outside of Montrose are a great area for easy and fun riding for ACL recovery!

Though my recovery has gone exceptionally well, the road has surely been full of ups and downs, tears of joy, and tears of pain… And by pain – I don’t mean the physical kind. Because honestly, when you’re an athlete, the physical pain of knee surgery isn’t anything compared to the mental anguish. Those days when I was still hobbling around in a straight leg brace having to shovel my car out of feet of fresh snow while all of my friends got to enjoy the goods – those were the toughest. Feeling disconnected from the ski world and my best friends, not being able to spend time outdoors doing the things I love to do and with the people I love – that was hard too. But injuries not only teach you about patience, they also teach you about strength. And I feel stronger than I ever have and I get stronger with each passing day.

Mountain biking at Hartman Rocks after 6 months of ACL Recovery.
So great to be back on singletrack!

This next stage of my recovery I will plan on continuing to grow even stronger. I have some goals that I have not yet announced – but stay tuned. I can tell you that I will still be incorporating various plyometrics, pilates, and yoga exercises into my recovery routine. Overall body strength is a big part of injury prevention, and I want to do everything possible to prevent future injuries.

Mountain biking in Salida after 6 months of ACL recovery.
Salida also has a great system of trails to work my way back in to riding singletrack.

So for now, stay tuned. It’s mostly back to normal for me. And I’m already well on my way to summer adventures!

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